Southport’s Kew estate quarantined in bid to halt spread of STDs

ots-kew-3

Health officials have stepped in to completely fence off the Kew estate in Southport from the outside world, it has emerged. We understand that the World Health Organisation, has identified the estate as the epicenter of a national outbreak of sexually transmitted diseases. They are particularly concerned about the emergence of a virulent infection More...

by admin | Published 2 years ago
old mcdonalds farm southport
By admin On Wednesday, November 19th, 2014
Comments

Old McDonald’s to be converted to urban farm

It has been announced that the site of the old McDonald’s on Eastbank Street in Southport town centre is to be converted into a new type of urban farming attraction. It is hoped that the farm will give local More...

sexy southport
By admin On Thursday, November 13th, 2014
Comments

Study explains why people from Southport are so incredibly sexy

The reason why Sandgrounders naturally exude an aura of effortless attractiveness has been an unexplained mystery in the scientific community for many years. Until now, that is. A team of boffins at Edge Hill University  More...

police raids on scousers
By admin On Thursday, June 12th, 2014
Comments

Merseyside Police in Huge Operation Against Suspected Scousers

Over 400 police officers took part in early morning raids today, on around 40 Merseyside properties suspected of containing scousers. We spoke to Chief Constable Bert Lynch, who told us that the operation had been More...

British women for British workers!
By admin On Saturday, May 17th, 2014
Comments

Panic as UKIP discover that ‘UKIP’ is Bulgarian word for ‘Welcome!’

British women for British workers! There have been several reports of UKIP signs being vandalised around Southport this week. The shocking truth, however, is that the UKIP supporters themselves have been defacing More...