Southport town centre to be relocated to Meols Cop

chapel street

The Southport Business Improvement District team have decided upon a plan which will instantly solve all of the problems of Southport town centre. It has been decided that the area containing the Meols Cop retail parks and Tesco will be become the new ‘Southport Town Centre’ from January 2015. The relocation plan has many benefits. Southport More...

by admin | Published 2 years ago
aldi southport
By admin On Thursday, August 6th, 2015

Double-Size Aldi Will Still Only Have One Till Open

Aldi have confirmed today that, despite spending millions doubling the size of their store in Kew, Southport, there will still only be one till open at any given time. According to Aldi spokesperson, Dick Withers, More...

By admin On Monday, February 2nd, 2015

ISIS to be rebranded as ‘fantastic work from home business opportunity’

It has emerged that global jihad is to be rebranded as a ‘fantastic work from home business opportunity’, as terrorists aim to mimic the success of mums flogging aloe vera and crazy eyelashes. According More...

southport beach grass
By admin On Monday, July 14th, 2014

Southport Beach in £3m Miracle-Gro Sponsorship Deal

The Southport Times can exclusively reveal that Sefton Council have sold naming rights to Southport Beach to the lawn fertiliser company, Miracle-Gro for around £3m. From next month, our once golden coastline will More...

By admin On Saturday, June 21st, 2014

Microsoft Set to Launch Psychic Search Engine Powered by Derek Acorah

Imagine a search engine that knows exactly what you are looking for before you have even typed a word. Well that’s exactly what Microsoft have created in their latest attempt to overturn Google’s massive dominance More...

There's an app for that.
By admin On Thursday, May 22nd, 2014

Southport Jehovah’s Witness Invents Door Knocking App

There’s an app for that. Paul Rimmer, a Jehovah’s Witness from Crossens, Southport, is set to appear on the BBC Dragon’s Den programme next week. He will be seeking investment in his new invention; More...

"Farewell to an old friend."
By admin On Tuesday, May 20th, 2014

Marine Lake Sold to American Billionaire

“Farewell to an old friend.” News has reached us this morning that an American businessman has had a bid of £32million accepted for the Marine Lake Sefton Council has been looking to redevelop the Marine More...

Still want to move to Hesketh Bank, townie?
By admin On Saturday, May 10th, 2014

Hesketh Bank to get Telephone and Internet by 2024

Still want to move to Hesketh Bank, townie? British Telecom have vowed to bring the ramshackle collection of villages to the north of Southport, known as Hesketh Bank, into the information age ‘within the More...