Published On: Sat, Jun 28th, 2014

Prayer vs Facebook Likes: Which is Best at Curing Cancer?

hospital-bed1A team of scientists from Edge Hill University in Lancashire have just completed a study which looked at the comparative efficacy of prayer and Facebook likes in curing cancer.

Shockwaves were felt throughout the scientific community, as the researchers proved conclusively that the two are exactly as effective as one another.

We understand that the researchers split a group of 500 terminally ill people into two groups of 250. The first group received 1000 prayers. 300 to Jesus, 300 to Allah, 300 to Hindu gods and the remaining 100 to a few other minor or unfashionable deities (just in case). The second group received 1000 Facebook likes each on a photograph of them with tubes sticking out of their nose.

A year later, the statistics showed that, in both experimental groups, exactly 2.4% had made a total recovery. 13.8% were still terminally ill but felt ‘a bit better’. 83.8% were unable to report whether they felt better or not, as they were dead.

Truly remarkable.

Unfortunately, it was impossible for the researchers to create a proper control group, as they couldn’t know if anyone was receiving independent prayer or likes.

However, they estimated that, of a group who hadn’t had the benefit of either prayer or Facebook likes, 2.4% would have made a total recovery, 13.8% would have felt a bit better and 83.8% would have died.

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