Published On: Sat, Feb 20th, 2016

Cameron fails to negotiate TV remote from his own wife and kids

cameronUpon returning home from Brussels last night, David Cameron immediately demanded the TV remote so that he could unwind by watching repeats of Top Gear on Dave with a relaxing pint of bitter, Downing Street sources have confirmed.

However, following intense negotiations, The Prime Minister instead spent the evening watching Thomas the Tank Engine, Hannah Montana, one of those Kirstie Allsopp property makeover shows and a romantic comedy starring Hugh Grant. He described the compromise as, “The best possible deal for the whole of the Cameron household.”

Although, some might suggest that his failure to watch a single episode of Top Gear could be seen as a sign of weakness, Cameron didn’t see it that way. Instead he pointed to a ten minute ‘emergency brake’ he had secured against having to play a game of Junior Scrabble and a ‘gradual phasing in’ of him making dinner, doing all the dishes and putting the kids to bed while Samantha chilled with a glass of wine.

Cameron has received assurances that he will be able to watch Top Gear tomorrow night after he has done a bit of DIY and mowed the lawn. However, we understand that the promise hasn’t been written on the family calendar and is subject to a qualified majority vote by the rest of the family and a veto held by Samantha.

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