Published On: Wed, May 20th, 2015

Birkdale Better Than Formby for MILF’s

A typical Birkdale mum.

A typical Birkdale mum.

In a surprise change of fortune, Birkdale has topped this year’s Southport & District MILF league table.

Residents of Formby, whose MILF’s had topped the league for a record breaking six consecutive years, are said to be bitterly disappointed.

“I’m not surprised though, to be honest,” One Formby local told us. “I think the MILF’s around here have got a little complacent. You know, let themselves go a bit. I’ve seen more than a few just popping out without the full slap on, letting the tan fade, or driving around without the top down on their white Mercedes convertibles.”

MILF experts had been hinting that Birkdale could do better this year because of the new Sainsbury’s Local in the village, as everyone knows you get a higher standard of MILF in Sainsbury’s organic fruit and veg section than those in Spar’s frozen fish fingers aisle.

Unfortunately, High Park came bottom of the league for the fifth year in a row, as points were deducted for MILF’s popping to Bargain Booze for fags in their dressing gown and slippers.



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