Published On: Thu, Jun 23rd, 2016

Thousands voting Brexit as sneaky way of trying to get rid of annoying foreign spouse or partner

arguingcoupleWe can exclusively reveal that many thousands of voters are heading to the polling booths today with the secret hope that if we leave the EU their irritating foreign spouse or partner might get deported.

“If that miserable bastard Johannes gets shipped of back to Germany, I’ll be able to get out on the lash with the girls again without getting the third degree when I get home. And I’ll never have listen to him moaning on and on about how trains are ever on time in Britain.” Southport woman Rachel Rimmer told us.

Another local voter, Geoff Halsall, who has been married to his French wife, Margot, for thirty six years, told us he had been queuing at the polling station since about half past five this morning.

“I’ve already filled the car with petrol so I can drive her to the airport myself.” Rimmer explained. “Then I can leave my dirty socks wherever I bloody like. And I can eat normal food again, instead of all that fancy shit with onions in she keeps feeding me.”

The extra votes are sure to be a massive boon to the Leave campaign. And although nobody has previously suggested the forcible repatriation of crap foreign spouses and partners, the campaign is sure to gather momentum if we do vote for Brexit.

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