Yvonne Hooper, ardent remainer and Member of Parliament for Castleton and Ponteford, has been a keen advocate of the government taking a ‘no-deal Brexit’ off the table in its negotiations on Britain’s withdrawal from the European Union.
“The only way to get a good deal for this country is to ensure that our negotiators have absolutely no leverage whatsoever and have to accept any deal they are offered.” She explained helpfully.
In an admirable display of logical consistency, Hooper followed this exact strategy when purchasing a new car from ‘Honest Joe’s’ second hand car dealership in West Yorkshire last Saturday afternoon.
The MP telephoned the dealership on Saturday morning to advise them of her intended visit.
“I explained that I was coming down to buy a car that afternoon and that under no circumstances would I countenance a damaging and divisive, cliff-edge, no deal outcome.” Hooper told us.
“‘Honest Joe’ was clearly inspired by my firm yet fair approach, assuring me that I was doing the right thing and that we were sure to reach a great deal in the spirit of trust and co-operation that I had established.”
We understand that the MP negotiated a deal in which she traded in her two year old BMW 5 series and paid £63,000, for a 2001 Nissan Micra with 143,000 miles on the clock (previously advertised as ‘spares or repairs’). She also managed to secure a competitive twenty five year finance deal at 1387% APR, an admin fee of £995, a £350 per month servicing arrangement, a full valet for £299, a set of furry dice for £89.99, no warranty and a legally binding agreement to never buy a car from any other dealership ever again.
“It’s a good deal for Honest Joe, a good deal for me and a great deal for Britain.” Hooper concluded.