Published On: Sat, Jun 7th, 2014

Pay and Display Machines Now Accepting Human Blood

southport pay and display bloodIt was announced this morning that Southport’s pay and display machines are to be the first in the UK to accept either coins or human blood.

We understand that the initial tariff has been set at 1oml per hour, or a discounted rate of 5ml for blood from a virgin female.

Sefton Council have been keen to stress that animal blood will not suffice and that the machines have been programmed to tell the difference.

We are unsure why Councils would be willing to take blood rather than cash, but will let you know as soon as we discover anything.

In unrelated news, all pay and display machines are now being emptied at around midnight and their still warm contents rushed to council offices for a ‘count’.

 

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