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Southport’s Kew estate quarantined in bid to halt spread of STDs

Health officials have stepped in to completely fence off the Kew estate in Southport from the outside world, it has emerged. We understand that the...

Study explains why people from Southport are so incredibly sexy

The reason why Sandgrounders naturally exude an aura of effortless attractiveness has been an unexplained mystery in the scientific community for many years. Until...

Southport kid banking on fake scouse accent to make it through school without a fight

Southport year 9 student, Oliver Wenthropp, has successfully managed to avoid fisticuffs for the first three years of high school, it has emerged. "When I...

You Know You Grew up in Southport in the 70’s or 80’s When…

You remember: Having to work up the courage to go on the death slide. And going down the helter-skelter on a woven mat. Knowing...

Southport No.1 for randy pensioners

Southport has been voted the best destination in the UK to grab a granny or grandad who's 'gagging for it' by the readers of...

Southport to go back to black and white

From next week the picturesque seaside town of Southport is ditching colour, in favour of more genteel shades black and white. The collective decision was...

Man buys full price Pringles

At around 8.30pm last night a man purchased a tube of salt n vinegar Pringles from a convenience store on Bispham Road, Southport for...

Southport brothel now offering Clubcard points

Southport's favourite brothel, Blue, has teamed up with a leading supermarket chain to offer clubcard points on every transaction. Now, while patrons wait to be...

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