Tag archive for ‘southport’
By admin On Saturday, February 7th, 2015

Southport’s Kew estate quarantined in bid to halt spread of STDs

Health officials have stepped in to completely fence off the Kew estate in Southport from the outside world, it has emerged. We understand that the World Health Organisation, has identified the estate as the epicenter More...

sexy southport
By admin On Thursday, November 13th, 2014

Study explains why people from Southport are so incredibly sexy

The reason why Sandgrounders naturally exude an aura of effortless attractiveness has been an unexplained mystery in the scientific community for many years. Until now, that is. A team of boffins at Edge Hill University  More...

orange saturday
By admin On Saturday, July 12th, 2014

Southport Prefers Orange Wednesdays

A huge debate has broken out in Southport tonight, in the aftermath of the latest Orange Saturday. Many are arguing that it is time for the town to ban them. “I can’t see why they can’t just be More...

angry boy
By admin On Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

Southport Kid Banking on Fake Scouse Accent to Make it Through School Without a Fight

Southport year 9 student, Oliver Wenthropp, has successfully managed to avoid fisticuffs for the first three years of high school, it has emerged. “When I started high school I noticed a lot of lads much bigger More...

no smoking man
By admin On Saturday, June 28th, 2014

You Know You Grew up in Southport in the 70′s or 80′s When…

You remember: Having to work up the courage to go on the death slide. And going down the helter-skelter on a woven mat. Knowing someone, or someone who knew someone, who nicked Chewits from the factory on Virginia More...

southport pensioners
By admin On Monday, June 16th, 2014

Southport No.1 for randy pensioners

Southport has been voted the best destination in the UK to grab a granny or grandad who’s ‘gagging for it’ by the readers of Aga, a magazine aimed at the over 60′s, for the third year in More...

That's better.
By admin On Thursday, June 5th, 2014

Southport to go Back to Black and White

That’s better. From next week the picturesque seaside town of Southport is ditching colour, in favour of more genteel shades black and white. The collective decision was reached as residents realised that More...

Get Frazzles instead.
By admin On Monday, June 2nd, 2014

Man Buys Full Price Pringles

Get Frazzles instead. At around 8.30pm last night a man purchased a tube of salt n vinegar Pringles from a convenience store on Bispham Road, Southport for the full price of £2.97, it has emerged. We spoke to stunned More...

southport brothel
By admin On Wednesday, May 28th, 2014

Southport Brothel Now Offering Clubcard Points

Southport’s favourite brothel, Blue, has teamed up with a leading supermarket chain to offer clubcard points on every transaction. Now, while patrons wait to be seen, they can peruse a full menu, including More...

On The Scene.
By admin On Wednesday, May 21st, 2014

Mysterious ‘Serial Accident Photographer’ Strikes Again

On The Scene. Merseyside Police have launched a full-scale investigation today into the photographs that keep appearing on the internet of every car crash in Southport. Apparently, the mystery photographer appears More...