LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE
Double-Size Aldi Will Still Only Have One Till Open
Aldi have confirmed today that, despite spending millions doubling the size of their store in Kew, Southport, there will still only be one till...
Southport’s Christmas lights will be back on when someone works out which bulb has gone
Contrary to earlier reports, which suggested that Southport's Christmas lights were out because of vandalism, we understand that an, as yet undiscovered, faulty bulb...
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Greta Thunberg en route to liberate Southport from occupation of Sefton Council
In a dramatic escalation of her international activism, pint-sized climate zealot and professional know-it-all Greta Thunberg has launched a daring crusade across the North...
Double-Size Aldi Will Still Only Have One Till Open
Aldi have confirmed today that, despite spending millions doubling the size of their store in Kew, Southport, there will still only be one till...
Formby signs free trade deal with Germany
While the British Government's talks with the EU over post-Brexit trade seem to have reached an impasse, Formby has already concluded a tariff-free deal...
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Angus Young of AC/DC forced to wear long trousers
It is a little known fact that Angus Young, one of the founders of the Australian rock band AC/DC, has been buying his school...
Lord Street springs leak
Anger is building among Southport residents this week as an apparent burst pipe on the town’s main shopping street continues to send several jets...
Local witch doctor now statistically safer than Southport Hospital
According to statistics released by public health researchers this week, a patient is now 3.82% less likely to die unexpectedly from treatment by popular...
