LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE

Southport brothel now offering Clubcard points

Southport's favourite brothel, Blue, has teamed up with a leading supermarket chain to offer clubcard points on every transaction. Now, while patrons wait to be...

Southport town centre to be relocated to Meols Cop

The Southport Business Improvement District team have decided upon a plan which will instantly solve all of the problems of Southport town centre. It has...
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Operation ‘Watch Where You’re F***ing Going’ credited for fall in cycling accidents

Road safety campaigners have been heaping praise upon Merseyside Police today, as their 'Watch Where You're Fucking Going' safety initiative has been credited with a...

Local witch doctor now statistically safer than Southport Hospital

According to statistics released by public health researchers this week, a patient is now 3.82% less likely to die unexpectedly from treatment by popular...

Nothing on Masterchef beats soup and crisps from Southport’s old swimming baths

Masterchef may have been on the telly for almost thirty years, but they've been pretty much wasting their time, according to people of a...

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Nine and a half reasons why Southport isn’t as shit as you think it is

From it's classy Victorian heyday, barely clinging on to mini Blackpool status in the late 20th century and on to to its present day...

Kew’s new housing estate set to be the “Venice of Southport”

Property developers have hit back today at claims that building a housing estate on what is essentially a flood-prone swamp might have been a...

Southport brothel now offering Clubcard points

Southport's favourite brothel, Blue, has teamed up with a leading supermarket chain to offer clubcard points on every transaction. Now, while patrons wait to be...

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