LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE
Nan horrified at being offered quesadillas on trip to Southport Market for new slippers
Local grandmother Elsie Rimmer, 84, has been getting a new pair of furry slippers from Southport Market every year since 1958.
Despite not getting out...
Birkdale better than Formby for MILFs
In a surprise change of fortune, Birkdale has topped this year's Southport & District MILF league table.
Residents of Formby, whose MILF's had topped the...
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Southport No.1 for randy pensioners
Southport has been voted the best destination in the UK to grab a granny or grandad who's 'gagging for it' by the readers of...
Nothing on Masterchef beats soup and crisps from Southport’s old swimming baths
Masterchef may have been on the telly for almost thirty years, but they've been pretty much wasting their time, according to people of a...
Southport to go back to black and white
The picturesque seaside town of Southport has announced plans to turn off all colour from next week, returning to the “simpler, nobler” age of...
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Britain’s nuclear submarine fleet to be painted yellow and moved to Liverpool
The Southport Times can exclusively reveal that the question of where the UK's nuclear submarine fleet will be housed in the event of Scottish...
Sefton Council workers defeat Pennywise the clown
Quick-thinking highway maintenance workers have guaranteed that residents of Botanic Road in Southport can sleep soundly tonight by blocking off drains with tarmac.
We understand...
Sufferers of ‘Scouse Eyebrow Syndrome’ now eligible for free NHS treatment
Jeremy Hunt, the Secretary of State for Health, announced today that people suffering from the debilitating Scouse Eyebrow Syndrome (SEBS) will be able to...
