LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE

FINES to be imposed for SWEARING in Southport town centre before 9pm

In an effort to clamp down on anti-social behaviour across the region, Sefton Council are set to impose an outright ban on foul language,...

Study explains why people from Southport are so incredibly sexy

The reason why Sandgrounders naturally exude an aura of effortless attractiveness has been an unexplained mystery in the scientific community for many years. Until...
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Southport brothel now offering Clubcard points

Southport's favourite brothel, Blue, has teamed up with a leading supermarket chain to offer clubcard points on every transaction. Now, while patrons wait to be...

Police hunt mum overheard threatening child with day out in Southport

Child cruelty campaigners have reacted with shock and dismay this week after footage emerged of a mum causing her child, "Undue alarm and distress."...

Fresh wave of gang violence engulfs Birkdale Village

The notoriously intimidating ghetto known by locals as 'Birkdale Village' has been experiencing a spike in levels of gang warfare, it has emerged. We understand...

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Fresh wave of gang violence engulfs Birkdale Village

The notoriously intimidating ghetto known by locals as 'Birkdale Village' has been experiencing a spike in levels of gang warfare, it has emerged. We understand...

Study explains why people from Southport are so incredibly sexy

The reason why Sandgrounders naturally exude an aura of effortless attractiveness has been an unexplained mystery in the scientific community for many years. Until...

Local graffiti geniuses leave subtle clues

Grafitti masterminds struck the seaside town of Southport in the early hours of this morning, leaving the town completely baffled as to who could...

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