LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE
Britain’s nuclear submarine fleet to be painted yellow and moved to Liverpool
The Southport Times can exclusively reveal that the question of where the UK's nuclear submarine fleet will be housed in the event of Scottish...
Southport man injured trying to light electronic cigarette
There are renewed calls for an outright ban on electronic cigarettes today, as news emerged that a Southport man was injured whilst trying to...
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Southport’s Kew estate quarantined in bid to halt spread of STDs
Health officials have stepped in to completely fence off the Kew estate in Southport from the outside world, it has emerged.
We understand that the...
Sefton Council workers defeat Pennywise the clown
Quick-thinking highway maintenance workers have guaranteed that residents of Botanic Road in Southport can sleep soundly tonight by blocking off drains with tarmac.
We understand...
Man buys full price Pringles
At around 8.30pm last night a man purchased a tube of salt n vinegar Pringles from a convenience store on Bispham Road, Southport for...
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Southport brothel now offering Clubcard points
Southport's favourite brothel, Blue, has teamed up with a leading supermarket chain to offer clubcard points on every transaction.
Now, while patrons wait to be...
Southport in Australia ‘really, really shit’ compared to our Southport
It has emerged that there is another Southport - in Australia, on Queensland's so-called 'Gold Coast' which is like a much, much shitter version of our seaside...
Double-Size Aldi Will Still Only Have One Till Open
Aldi have confirmed today that, despite spending millions doubling the size of their store in Kew, Southport, there will still only be one till...
