LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE
Double-Size Aldi Will Still Only Have One Till Open
Aldi have confirmed today that, despite spending millions doubling the size of their store in Kew, Southport, there will still only be one till...
Greta Thunberg en route to liberate Southport from occupation of Sefton Council
In a dramatic escalation of her international activism, pint-sized climate zealot and professional know-it-all Greta Thunberg has launched a daring crusade across the North...
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Local graffiti geniuses leave subtle clues
Grafitti masterminds struck the seaside town of Southport in the early hours of this morning, leaving the town completely baffled as to who could...
Ainsdale Birdwatching Society evening events ‘not dogging’
The head of Ainsdale Birdwatching Society, Shirley Knott, has released a public statement today assuring local residents that their activities absolutely do not include...
Southport beach in £3m Miracle-Gro sponsorship deal
The Southport Times can exclusively reveal that Sefton Council have sold naming rights to Southport Beach to the lawn fertiliser company, Miracle-Gro for around...
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Southport in surprise tourism boost from empty shop enthusiasts
We all know that there are loads of strange niche interests and hobbies out there, like trainspotting, roundabout photography, knitting bobble hats out of belly button...
Local witch doctor now statistically safer than Southport Hospital
According to statistics released by public health researchers this week, a patient is now 3.82% less likely to die unexpectedly from treatment by popular...
Southport kid banking on fake scouse accent to make it through school without a fight
Southport year 9 student, Oliver Wenthropp, has successfully managed to avoid fisticuffs for the first three years of high school, it has emerged.
"When I...
