LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE

Southport’s Christmas lights will be back on when someone works out which bulb has gone

Contrary to earlier reports, which suggested that Southport's Christmas lights were out because of vandalism, we understand that an, as yet undiscovered, faulty bulb...

Southport to let gays cross the road

Following Blackpool’s lead, Southport Council has announced plans to paint the town’s zebra crossings in the rainbow colours of the LGBTQ+ community. The initiative will,...
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New Aldi now Southport’s highest rated tourist attraction on TripAdvisor

Narrowly beating off competition from our glorious green beaches and the excellent push bike and shopping trolley museum in the Marine Lake, the new...

Southport in Australia ‘really, really shit’ compared to our Southport

  It has emerged that there is another Southport - in Australia, on Queensland's so-called 'Gold Coast' which is like a much, much shitter version of our seaside...

Southport brothel now offering Clubcard points

Southport's favourite brothel, Blue, has teamed up with a leading supermarket chain to offer clubcard points on every transaction. Now, while patrons wait to be...

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Justin Bieber barred from Southport Funland

Canadian pop sensation Justin Bieber has been slapped with a lifetime ban from Funland, Southport's largest amusement arcade following what staff have described as...

FINES to be imposed for SWEARING in Southport town centre before 9pm

In an effort to clamp down on anti-social behaviour across the region, Sefton Council are set to impose an outright ban on foul language,...

Nine and a half reasons why Southport isn’t as shit as you think it is

From it's classy Victorian heyday, barely clinging on to mini Blackpool status in the late 20th century and on to to its present day...

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