LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE

Angus Young of AC/DC forced to wear long trousers

It is a little known fact that Angus Young, one of the founders of the Australian rock band AC/DC, has been buying his school...

Britain’s nuclear submarine fleet to be painted yellow and moved to Liverpool

The Southport Times can exclusively reveal that the question of where the UK's nuclear submarine fleet will be housed in the event of Scottish...
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Southport puzzled by mystery ‘Running Woman’

America has Sasquatch, Scotland has the Loch Ness Monster. Now Southport has its very own mystery. Over the last few weeks reports have been coming...

Merseyside Police in huge operation against suspected Scousers

Over 400 police officers took part in early morning raids today on around 40 Merseyside properties suspected of containing scousers. We spoke to Chief Constable...

Southport in surprise tourism boost from empty shop enthusiasts

We all know that there are loads of strange niche interests and hobbies out there, like trainspotting, roundabout photography, knitting bobble hats out of belly button...

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Southport gets apology for cremation of onion farmer

Southport Crematorium have issued an apology for the awful smell of onions hovering over Southport today. Apparently a small dignified service was carried out for...

Fresh wave of gang violence engulfs Birkdale Village

The notoriously intimidating ghetto known by locals as 'Birkdale Village' has been experiencing a spike in levels of gang warfare, it has emerged. We understand...

Local witch doctor now statistically safer than Southport Hospital

According to statistics released by public health researchers this week, a patient is now 3.82% less likely to die unexpectedly from treatment by popular...

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