LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE
Local witch doctor now statistically safer than Southport Hospital
According to statistics released by public health researchers this week, a patient is now 3.82% less likely to die unexpectedly from treatment by popular...
William and Kate to attend Southport Civil War remembrance service
It has been confirmed that their Royal Highnesses, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, are to attend this Sunday's Civil War remembrance service at the...
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Southport man injured trying to light electronic cigarette
There are renewed calls for an outright ban on electronic cigarettes today, as news emerged that a Southport man was injured whilst trying to...
Southport town centre to be relocated to Meols Cop
The Southport Business Improvement District team have decided upon a plan which will instantly solve all of the problems of Southport town centre.
It has...
Immigrants invading Southport by PARACHUTE
There were shocking scenes on the coast of Ainsdale today as swarms of immigrants landed on the beach after apparently crossing the sea with...
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Fresh wave of gang violence engulfs Birkdale Village
The notoriously intimidating ghetto known by locals as 'Birkdale Village' has been experiencing a spike in levels of gang warfare, it has emerged.
We understand...
Woollybacks gain protected minority status
After many years of being marginalised and ridiculed by scousers, people from Southport and other areas surrounding Liverpool have finally been recognised as a minority group...
Sefton Council workers defeat Pennywise the clown
Quick-thinking highway maintenance workers have guaranteed that residents of Botanic Road in Southport can sleep soundly tonight by blocking off drains with tarmac.
We understand...
