LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE
William and Kate to attend Southport Civil War remembrance service
It has been confirmed that their Royal Highnesses, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, are to attend this Sunday's Civil War remembrance service at the...
Britain’s nuclear submarine fleet to be painted yellow and moved to Liverpool
The Southport Times can exclusively reveal that the question of where the UK's nuclear submarine fleet will be housed in the event of Scottish...
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Study explains why people from Southport are so incredibly sexy
The reason why Sandgrounders naturally exude an aura of effortless attractiveness has been an unexplained mystery in the scientific community for many years. Until...
Southport’s Christmas lights will be back on when someone works out which bulb has gone
Contrary to earlier reports, which suggested that Southport's Christmas lights were out because of vandalism, we understand that an, as yet undiscovered, faulty bulb...
Southport man injured trying to light electronic cigarette
There are renewed calls for an outright ban on electronic cigarettes today, as news emerged that a Southport man was injured whilst trying to...
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Southport in Australia ‘really, really shit’ compared to our Southport
It has emerged that there is another Southport - in Australia, on Queensland's so-called 'Gold Coast' which is like a much, much shitter version of our seaside...
Operation ‘Watch Where You’re F***ing Going’ credited for fall in cycling accidents
Road safety campaigners have been heaping praise upon Merseyside Police today, as their 'Watch Where You're Fucking Going' safety initiative has been credited with a...
Police hunt mum overheard threatening child with day out in Southport
Child cruelty campaigners have reacted with shock and dismay this week after footage emerged of a mum causing her child, "Undue alarm and distress."...
