LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE
Study explains why people from Southport are so incredibly sexy
The reason why Sandgrounders naturally exude an aura of effortless attractiveness has been an unexplained mystery in the scientific community for many years. Until...
Birkdale better than Formby for MILFs
In a surprise change of fortune, Birkdale has topped this year's Southport & District MILF league table.
Residents of Formby, whose MILF's had topped the...
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Sufferers of ‘Scouse Eyebrow Syndrome’ now eligible for free NHS treatment
Jeremy Hunt, the Secretary of State for Health, announced today that people suffering from the debilitating Scouse Eyebrow Syndrome (SEBS) will be able to...
Marine Lake sold to American billionaire
News has reached us this morning that an American businessman has had a bid of £32million accepted for the Marine Lake
Sefton Council has been...
Southport in Australia ‘really, really shit’ compared to our Southport
It has emerged that there is another Southport - in Australia, on Queensland's so-called 'Gold Coast' which is like a much, much shitter version of our seaside...
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Man buys full price Pringles
At around 8.30pm last night a man purchased a tube of salt n vinegar Pringles from a convenience store on Bispham Road, Southport for...
Britain’s nuclear submarine fleet to be painted yellow and moved to Liverpool
The Southport Times can exclusively reveal that the question of where the UK's nuclear submarine fleet will be housed in the event of Scottish...
Cyclist uses one of Southport’s new cycle lan…..no wait, he’s back on the pavement
Sefton Council's ingenious idea to paint cycle lanes over the bits of Southport where rates-paying small businesses' customers used to park seemed briefly justified...
