LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE

Woollybacks gain protected minority status

After many years of being marginalised and ridiculed by scousers, people from Southport and other areas surrounding Liverpool have finally been recognised as a minority group...

Ainsdale Birdwatching Society evening events ‘not dogging’

The head of Ainsdale Birdwatching Society, Shirley Knott, has released a public statement today assuring local residents that their activities absolutely do not include...
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Southport set for massive wall to keep out Scousers

It has emerged that a controversial mayoral candidate from Southport has been pushing for the erection of a 20' high border wall around the town. Apparently, if...

Southport town centre to be relocated to Meols Cop

The Southport Business Improvement District team have decided upon a plan which will instantly solve all of the problems of Southport town centre. It has...

Nan horrified at being offered quesadillas on trip to Southport Market for new slippers

Local grandmother Elsie Rimmer, 84, has been getting a new pair of furry slippers from Southport Market every year since 1958. Despite not getting out...

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Sefton Council workers defeat Pennywise the clown

Quick-thinking highway maintenance workers have guaranteed that residents of Botanic Road in Southport can sleep soundly tonight by blocking off drains with tarmac. We understand...

Did Jesus visit Southport?

Although the question may at first seem ridiculous, evidence has emerged that Jesus' feet may indeed have walked upon Southport's golden beaches in ancient...

Pay and Display to be extended to whole of Southport PR8 and PR9 area

It has emerged today that Sefton Council are planning to extend Southport's town centre pay and display zone outwards to encompass the whole of...

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