LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE
Southport to go back to black and white
The picturesque seaside town of Southport has announced plans to turn off all colour from next week, returning to the “simpler, nobler” age of...
Study explains why people from Southport are so incredibly sexy
The reason why Sandgrounders naturally exude an aura of effortless attractiveness has been an unexplained mystery in the scientific community for many years. Until...
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Birkdale better than Formby for MILFs
In a surprise change of fortune, Birkdale has topped this year's Southport & District MILF league table.
Residents of Formby, whose MILF's had topped the...
Banks loans its “most attractive” donkey to Hesketh Bank
As a part of an exciting and ambitious new cultural exchange program between the two West Lancashire villages, Mabel the donkey will make the...
Southport in Australia ‘really, really shit’ compared to our Southport
It has emerged that there is another Southport - in Australia, on Queensland's so-called 'Gold Coast' which is like a much, much shitter version of our seaside...
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Sufferers of ‘Scouse Eyebrow Syndrome’ now eligible for free NHS treatment
Jeremy Hunt, the Secretary of State for Health, announced today that people suffering from the debilitating Scouse Eyebrow Syndrome (SEBS) will be able to...
William and Kate to attend Southport Civil War remembrance service
It has been confirmed that their Royal Highnesses, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, are to attend this Sunday's Civil War remembrance service at the...
FINES to be imposed for SWEARING in Southport town centre before 9pm
In an effort to clamp down on anti-social behaviour across the region, Sefton Council are set to impose an outright ban on foul language,...
