LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE
Study explains why people from Southport are so incredibly sexy
The reason why Sandgrounders naturally exude an aura of effortless attractiveness has been an unexplained mystery in the scientific community for many years. Until...
Southport to let gays cross the road
Following Blackpool’s lead, Southport Council has announced plans to paint the town’s zebra crossings in the rainbow colours of the LGBTQ+ community.
The initiative will,...
More News
Southport now identifies as The Best Seaside Resort in the World
Miles of glorious golden beaches; a huge range of fun and educational attractions and activities for all the family; plentiful free parking and outstanding...
Southport town centre to be relocated to Meols Cop
The Southport Business Improvement District team have decided upon a plan which will instantly solve all of the problems of Southport town centre.
It has...
Sufferers of ‘Scouse Eyebrow Syndrome’ now eligible for free NHS treatment
Jeremy Hunt, the Secretary of State for Health, announced today that people suffering from the debilitating Scouse Eyebrow Syndrome (SEBS) will be able to...
EVEN MORE NEWS
Britain’s nuclear submarine fleet to be painted yellow and moved to Liverpool
The Southport Times can exclusively reveal that the question of where the UK's nuclear submarine fleet will be housed in the event of Scottish...
Southport in surprise tourism boost from empty shop enthusiasts
We all know that there are loads of strange niche interests and hobbies out there, like trainspotting, roundabout photography, knitting bobble hats out of belly button...
Southport’s Kew estate quarantined in bid to halt spread of STDs
Health officials have stepped in to completely fence off the Kew estate in Southport from the outside world, it has emerged.
We understand that the...
