LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE

Study explains why people from Southport are so incredibly sexy

The reason why Sandgrounders naturally exude an aura of effortless attractiveness has been an unexplained mystery in the scientific community for many years. Until...

Greta Thunberg en route to liberate Southport from occupation of Sefton Council

In a dramatic escalation of her international activism, pint-sized climate zealot and professional know-it-all Greta Thunberg has launched a daring crusade across the North...
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Nan horrified at being offered quesadillas on trip to Southport Market for new slippers

Local grandmother Elsie Rimmer, 84, has been getting a new pair of furry slippers from Southport Market every year since 1958. Despite not getting out...

FINES to be imposed for SWEARING in Southport town centre before 9pm

In an effort to clamp down on anti-social behaviour across the region, Sefton Council are set to impose an outright ban on foul language,...

Southport beach in £3m Miracle-Gro sponsorship deal

The Southport Times can exclusively reveal that Sefton Council have sold naming rights to Southport Beach to the lawn fertiliser company, Miracle-Gro for around...

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Woollybacks gain protected minority status

After many years of being marginalised and ridiculed by scousers, people from Southport and other areas surrounding Liverpool have finally been recognised as a minority group...

Double-Size Aldi Will Still Only Have One Till Open

Aldi have confirmed today that, despite spending millions doubling the size of their store in Kew, Southport, there will still only be one till...

Southport to Blackpool bridge facing fresh delays

Plans to begin work on the long-awaited Southport–Blackpool bridge have been thrown into doubt after concerns were raised about an influx of unruly partygoers. The...

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