LOCAL NEWS FOR LOCAL PEOPLE
Southport’s Christmas lights will be back on when someone works out which bulb has gone
Contrary to earlier reports, which suggested that Southport's Christmas lights were out because of vandalism, we understand that an, as yet undiscovered, faulty bulb...
Southport No.1 for randy pensioners
Southport has been voted the best destination in the UK to grab a granny or grandad who's 'gagging for it' by the readers of...
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Southport brothel now offering Clubcard points
Southport's favourite brothel, Blue, has teamed up with a leading supermarket chain to offer clubcard points on every transaction.
Now, while patrons wait to be...
Nine and a half reasons why Southport isn’t as shit as you think it is
From it's classy Victorian heyday, barely clinging on to mini Blackpool status in the late 20th century and on to to its present day...
Britain’s nuclear submarine fleet to be painted yellow and moved to Liverpool
The Southport Times can exclusively reveal that the question of where the UK's nuclear submarine fleet will be housed in the event of Scottish...
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Angus Young of AC/DC forced to wear long trousers
It is a little known fact that Angus Young, one of the founders of the Australian rock band AC/DC, has been buying his school...
Southport Monument’s wino’s granted National Heritage status
Mumbling alcoholics have been a part of the rich tapestry of Southport town centre life for so long that an English Heritage Committee have...
Southport farmer grows turnip with face of will.i.am
Ron Hesketh, 83, a keen gardener from Banks, found himself at the center of an international media storm this week, after growing a turnip...
