admin
Fresh wave of gang violence engulfs Birkdale Village
The notoriously intimidating ghetto known by locals as 'Birkdale Village' has been experiencing a spike in levels of gang warfare, it has emerged.
We understand...
Southport in Australia ‘really, really shit’ compared to our Southport
It has emerged that there is another Southport - in Australia, on Queensland's so-called 'Gold Coast' which is like a much, much shitter version of our seaside...
Southport town centre to be relocated to Meols Cop
The Southport Business Improvement District team have decided upon a plan which will instantly solve all of the problems of Southport town centre.
It has...
Double-Size Aldi Will Still Only Have One Till Open
Aldi have confirmed today that, despite spending millions doubling the size of their store in Kew, Southport, there will still only be one till...
Birkdale better than Formby for MILFs
In a surprise change of fortune, Birkdale has topped this year's Southport & District MILF league table.
Residents of Formby, whose MILF's had topped the...
Southport’s Kew estate quarantined in bid to halt spread of STDs
Health officials have stepped in to completely fence off the Kew estate in Southport from the outside world, it has emerged.
We understand that the...
Old McDonald’s to be converted to urban farm
It has been announced that the site of the old McDonald's on Eastbank Street in Southport town centre is to be converted into a...
Study explains why people from Southport are so incredibly sexy
The reason why Sandgrounders naturally exude an aura of effortless attractiveness has been an unexplained mystery in the scientific community for many years. Until...
Kew set for Britain’s First Bi-Directional Roundabout
Kew roundabout in Southport is to become the first bi-directional traffic island in Britain.
The two-way roundabout system is set to be rolled out across...
Southport beach in £3m Miracle-Gro sponsorship deal
The Southport Times can exclusively reveal that Sefton Council have sold naming rights to Southport Beach to the lawn fertiliser company, Miracle-Gro for around...
