“Tea is a vital lubricant to the British economy.” Minister, Shirley Knott, told us today.
“And we believe that up to 2.3 million hours of productivity are lost every single year, by people standing around complaining about tea that tastes a little bit like coffee.”
“That’s why the morons that can’t manage the simple task of using two different spoons are to be put on a special public register.” She explained.
“They are as bad as thieves and murderers and deserve to be singled out in their communities.”
According to our sources, people that put milk into a cup with a teabag, before the boiling water, could also be included on the register.
Please help restore order to Britain by reporting these people that can’t make a proper cup of tea to the police, or by naming and shaming them yourself.