Miles of glorious golden beaches; a huge range of fun and educational attractions and activities for all the family; plentiful free parking and outstanding public transport links; a year-round near-tropical climate; a cosmopolitan cafe culture; cheerful and friendly locals welcoming your every visit. These are just a few of the qualities Southport now identifies as possessing within its’ new identity of The Best Seaside Resort in the World.
In the interest of free speech, you are, of course, welcome to disagree. However, should we hear any of you nazis even hinting at Southport not being The Best Seaside Resort in the World, you will be immediately reported to the police for a non-crime hate crime, unauthorised thought incident. While we still love you and strive to be tolerant and inclusive of all viewpoints, we sincerely hope that you lose your job, your kids get taken off you and you are slowly and painfully rogered to death with sharpened sticks of Southport rock.
You have been warned, bigots.
