Published On: Sun, Jun 19th, 2016

Brexit could end the DFS sale

sofaSpeaking on the Andrew Marr show this morning, David Cameron has warned that if Britain votes to leave the European Union the DFS sale really, really must end very soon.

“A vote for Brexit is a vote for hateful racism and bigotry, permanent global recession and full price sofas.” the Prime Minister insisted.

The DFS sale is a proud British tradition, which has survived through a civil war, the black death, the rise and fall of empire, and two world wars. It is a little known fact that King John was compelled to sign the Magna Carta on ‘The Canterbury’ – a stylish corner group with fetching floral scatter cushions and matching pouffe (was 799 groats, now only 399). According to some historians, we may not even have a parliamentary democracy today if ‘The Canterbury’ hadn’t been available with four years’ interest free credit.

The leave campaign have reacted with fury to the Prime Minister’s latest intervention, however.

“The stuff about a third world war and the end of western civilisation was almost believable.” Boris Johnson replied. “But the DFS sale ending? He’s just taking the piss now.”

 

Other News

  • Pay and Display Machines Now Accepting Human BloodPay and Display Machines Now Accepting Human Blood
  • Southport to go Back to Black and WhiteSouthport to go Back to Black and White
  • Thousands of People Living in Bins Say Merseyside Postal WorkersThousands of People Living in Bins Say Merseyside Postal Workers
  • Man Buys Full Price PringlesMan Buys Full Price Pringles
  • Local graffiti geniuses leave subtle cluesLocal graffiti geniuses leave subtle clues
  • Is this the best pint in Southport?Is this the best pint in Southport?
  • Southport Gets Apology For Cremation of Onion FarmerSouthport Gets Apology For Cremation of Onion Farmer
  • Study explains why people from Southport are so incredibly sexyStudy explains why people from Southport are so incredibly sexy
  • Merseyside Police in Huge Operation Against Suspected ScousersMerseyside Police in Huge Operation Against Suspected Scousers
  • Southport Prefers Orange WednesdaysSouthport Prefers Orange Wednesdays