Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has taken the dramatic step of hiring the Northern Irish hardman actor Liam Neeson to locate her grandson Harry and bring him home.
According to our sources at the palace, the idea came to Her Majesty after she re-watched the Taken movies during the Coronavirus lockdown (she loved the first one but thought the other two were derivative and had nothing new to say).
While no ransom demand has yet been received for the Prince, he has had no contact with his family for many months and several videos have been released showing him spouting gibberish in a clearly distressed state.
In an unprecedented address to the nation on TV last night, the Queen told whoever is holding Harry hostage:
“Liam has a very particular set of skills. Skills he has acquired over a very long career. Skills that make him a nightmare for people like you. If you let my grandson go now that’ll be the end of it. Liam will not look for you and will not pursue you, but if you don’t, he will look for you, he will find you and he will kill you.”