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Brazil suspected of being England in disguise

Brazilian authorities have begun a manhunt today for the real Brazil football team, amidst concerns that they are possibly tied up in a grotty warehouse somewhere.

It is suspected that the team that got thumped 7-1 by Germany was actually England in disguise.

“Our suspicions were first aroused when someone pointed out that David Luiz looked a bit like Wayne Rooney in one of his more luxurious hairpieces.” Brazilian President, Dilma Rousseff, told us. “Which explains why he spent so much time at the wrong end of the pitch.”

“Then it all became obvious. The wayward passing, terrible positioning and hapless defending.” He explained. “It could only really be England.”