Property developers have hit back today at claims that building a housing estate on what is essentially a flood-prone swamp might have been a bad idea.
Spokesman for Davey Williams Homes, Geoff Rimmer, told us this morning that, contrary to popular belief, they knew exactly what they were doing all along and that the estate was set to become a major tourist attraction for the town.
“It will be the Venice of Southport.” He exclaimed.
“We’ve already had several small businesses register an interest in setting up in the area,” Rimmer reported. “From gondola hire to riverboat cruises and scuba diving, Kew is going to have it all.”
The developers are also claiming that new residents will be delighted with the houses themselves.
“We can assure our customers that all of their homes will come with authentic 14th century Venice style cracks, leaks and damp patches.” Rimmer explained. “They’ll be real attention-grabbers. Many will even have that cosmopolitan Leaning Tower of Pisa type vibe.”
“Our new estate on Kew will also come complete with that authentic Venetian odour.” Rimmer assured us. “As the ground has been too muddy for us to dig out proper sewers.”
