Published On: Tue, Jun 10th, 2014

Thousands of People Living in Bins Say Merseyside Postal Workers

sun newspaperThe Southport Times has uncovered shocking new evidence that tens of thousands of people are living in bins and skips around Merseyside.

This tragic and disturbing discovery was made during our research for an unrelated story about the Royal Mail’s distribution of free copies of The Sun newspaper.

It emerged that hundreds of postal workers would be delivering the paper directly into the make-do homes of these poor, unfortunate individuals.

“Yes, a family of 200 live in here.” Postman, Bryan Eyre told us as we witnessed him cheerfully placing an entire bundle of copies of The Sun into a skip.

“We could return them undelivered,” Eyre explained, “But we like to imagine the poor homeless people at least having something to wipe their arses on.”

Other News

  • Southport town centre to be relocated to Meols CopSouthport town centre to be relocated to Meols Cop
  • Mystery Cat Shaver Operating in Southport, Warn PoliceMystery Cat Shaver Operating in Southport, Warn Police
  • Screen stolen from Southport’s new open air cinemaScreen stolen from Southport’s new open air cinema
  • Southport Beach in £3m Miracle-Gro Sponsorship DealSouthport Beach in £3m Miracle-Gro Sponsorship Deal
  • Southport Tip Now Accepting Unwanted AnimalsSouthport Tip Now Accepting Unwanted Animals
  • Southport Gets Apology For Cremation of Onion FarmerSouthport Gets Apology For Cremation of Onion Farmer
  • Southport Prefers Orange WednesdaysSouthport Prefers Orange Wednesdays
  • Is this the best pint in Southport?Is this the best pint in Southport?
  • Local restauranteur vindicated as dead flies and bird shit turn out to be ingredients in fancy Heston Blumenthal dishLocal restauranteur vindicated as dead flies and bird shit turn out to be ingredients in fancy Heston Blumenthal dish
  • Southport Kid Banking on Fake Scouse Accent to Make it Through School Without a FightSouthport Kid Banking on Fake Scouse Accent to Make it Through School Without a Fight