The head of Ainsdale Birdwatching Society, Shirley Knott, has released a public statement today assuring local residents that their activities absolutely do not include a bit of back seat rumpy-pumpy with an audience.
“We can understand why people get confused about our meetings,” Shirley told us. “But there are a great deal of interesting species in the sand dunes, particularly late at night. We are enthusiastic amateur ornithologists, that’s all there is to it.”
“Sometimes we might take a couple of cars to somewhere secluded so we can stay warm and dry while we wait. To save leaving the engines running for heat, we might also do a bit of exercise in the car. Which explains the steamy windows – and people looking in to admire our exercise techniques.”
When we asked Shirley about the photographs that have appeared showing people at various stages of nudity, she just laughed and shook her head.
“People are just too quick to jump to conclusions,” she suggested. “When you are out in nature, the scent on people’s clothes can really scare the birds away. I mean, if I never took my kit off over the years I wouldn’t have seen half as many Blue Tits in the cool winter months, or Robin Red Breasts in the height of summer. And let me tell you, if you’d seen as much Nuthatch or Thrush as I have, that doesn’t just go away. It’s something you can carry round with you and treasure throughout the week.”